Technology Viewer

Science Editor RebRob here.  All of us at Technology Viewer World
Headquarters (a thriving support staff of 1) want to wish our CEO,
President, and King, Wolfman-K, aka Keith, a happy, healthy and
prosperous 38th birthday!

We’ve received well wishes from around the world, and we’d like to share
some of the more notable ones with you.

From Steve Jobs at Apple:

‘When the old calendar reminder on my MacBook beeped this morning and
the picture of a cake popped up on my iPhoto, I instantly realized it
was Wolfie’s birthday!  Many happy returns!  Keith, thanks for all the
great press coverage, kind words, and all around sycophancy you’ve shown
me over the years.  Just one request though,
could you PLEASE stop kissing my feet.  C’mon, it’s getting embarrassing
now…’

_____
From Bill Gates at Microsoft:

‘Keith who?  Oh yeah, that guy.  Well, you can tell that @#*!# Apple
lover that I hope he enjoys the free copy of Vista I sent him.  It
doesn’t even need any updates.
Well, hardly any.  Fifty-four isn’t a lot, is it?  If he could just set
his Defender to accept third party cookies through a DHCP standard
msconfig command, I think I could actually get
his PC to play an 8-bit version of Happy Birthday.  All he’ll need to do
is open the Control Panel, do a Ctrl C-F command and then…..

…oh hell, just go play XBox.  Hopefully, there isn’t any jewelry of
the red ring variety waiting for you.’

_____
Pierre Omidyar, founder of E-Bay, sent this note:

’Well, well, well.  Is it Keith’s birthday again?  Well, we must get
something special for him.  I have a vintage 1978 C-3PO action figure
for sale, bidding is up to $45.99, or you can Buy Now for only $80.

No?

How about this real, imitation Leatherette skin Blackberry Storm case?
I have 2,456,789 in stock, but they could all be bought by a Chinese
placemat factory tomorrw, so you’ll need to get your bid in fast.

Hey, how about this nifty PVC 4-way pipe adapter, on sale for .$75 from
this Supply1 seller dude.  Yes?  Ok, all I have to do is sign in, click
“Bid”, set a price, and then….oh, damn…it sold.

Ok, all I’ve got left is 40,000,000 Kindles sitting in the back
warehouse.  Got $500?’
____

Wil Wheaton, well known geek author and Star Trek’s Wesley Crusher had
this to say:

‘I know not of anyone named Keith, or Wolfman, or the like.  If he truly
needs some affirmation, I suppose I could send him a copy of my latest
book “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m a Geek and Use a Pretend Deep Voice and
Big Words”.  It’s on sale now at comic book stores everywhere.

What?  Say ‘happy birthday, from Wesley Crusher’?!?!  How dare you sir!!
I am a SERIOUS actor AND author!!   Don’t you know I was in “Stand by
Me” when I was 9?

That I performed Shakespeare at the Manzanilla County Fair in Idaho for
3 summers, IN A ROW?

That I’ve written dozens of chapters of anecdotes and musings from late
80’s/early 90’s science fiction genre television?

It truly shows your ignorance, both as a person AND as a humanoid from a
class M planet that you cannot distinguish reality and TRUE, TANGIBLE
accomplishment from a brief stint as a pubescent wunderkind whelp in
fuzzy, oddly fitting sweaters.

Now, please sit down and let me tell about the time Commander Data and I
entered the Holodeck to explore the pleasure planet of Lustavia 9, where
we battled the maniacal Shoulder Pad beast!  It is a FASCINATING panoply
of the Lohengrin mythology of 19th century Bavarian culture.

Wait, where are you going?  Come back, I’M WIL WHEATON, DAMMIT!  Ok,
wait, wait……(from far off) happy birthday, from Wesley Crusher!’
____

And finally, this just arrived from Jack Dorsey, creator of Twitter:

’RT @wolfmank R U rdy 4 a birthday msg?I m so hpy 2 hear u r 38 today!I
hope u hv lotsofun w/ ur tweets.Got 2 go now my mom wants me to get
t’…

Hmm…apparently he had to cut his message short for some reason.


Anyway, from all of us to you, Wolfman-K aka Keith…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!